i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
