I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
