I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
