Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
