if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
