This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
