dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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