Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
