her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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