I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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