My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
