im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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