yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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