dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
