I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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