My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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