she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
