and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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