Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
