Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize