i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
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I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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