Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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