You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just had sex on a roof
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize