You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
