No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
