Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My vagina just clenched in fear
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
