shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
