Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
