she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
