I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
