I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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