wrigley field is MILF paradise
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
