my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Your penis caused this!
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