i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
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My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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