Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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