Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
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She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
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Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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