We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
