i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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