my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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