all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
