walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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