Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize