Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
