Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
