Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
