the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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