He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize