she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
