Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
