But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How naked do you want me to be?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
