"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
