i permit you to call me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize