I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
