I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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