That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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