I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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