Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
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I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's blow job season.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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