Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
